


Sound of Silence

by LadyNovaJade



Series: Alternate Universe [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Slow Burn, Team Building, bad language, family stuff, lots of emotions, trust issue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-05-14 10:59:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5741113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNovaJade/pseuds/LadyNovaJade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toni begins to come to grips with what is happening to the team ... because of her actions. And starts to wonder if she'll ever get Steve to trust her again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

The QuinJet was silent as a graveyard.

It was such an ironic, two-bit phrase, but Toni couldn’t help but _feel_ it. Not only was there no sound from anyone, it also felt like a graveyard. That creepy stillness that seeped in through your skin, made you feel like you were spying on something you were not supposed to see.

Toni sat near the console as Clint piloted the Avengers out of South Africa and into the inky night sky. She felt heavy, like her suit was still on, but she didn’t have the power of the reactor or anything to help her bear the brunt of it. Her eyes glanced around at the rest of the Avengers, her chest aching even more.

Bruce was barely visible, wrapped in one of the speciality shock blankets she had helped him to develop after particularly hard transformations. Thor paced, slowly but back and forth near the back of the Quinjet, wringing his large hands together as he moved. He looked wound tight, like a strained rope ready to break apart. Toni wondered if Natasha had blinked at all in the last 10 minutes, as if she were afraid even to close her eyes for a nano second and relive what the Scarlet Witch had shown her.

And Steve… He wouldn’t meet her gaze and that hurt Toni more than she could put into words. He was stoic, a blank slate. More like a statue sitting almost completely unmoving. Something in her wondered if he was even breathing.

The silence was suddenly punctuated by the soft sound of the comms buzzing. Toni was content to ignore it, not wanting to hear the news she was sure Hill was about to report. After a few moments, she felt Clint turn to her, the question on the tip of his tongue. The comm buzzed again.

“Stark?” he asked softly and without a reply, Toni reached forward and hit the button, watching as Maria Hill’s face came into focus on the small screen.

“I’m assuming you are all out of South Africa?” was her abrupt question.

Toni nodded, “Barton’s at the helm. Best not beat around the bush, Hill. What do you got?”

Hill drew in a deep breath and in that one moment, Toni realized all of her fears were about to be spoken aloud. “Well, the media is lovin’ you guys. Nobody else really is,” the agent reported, her eyes down as she shifted through papers in front of her.

“There are no formal calls for the Hulk’s arrest, but it’s in the air. The damage is … quite extensive.” 

Toni swallowed hard and looked toward Bruce, her heart feeling heavy. “Stark Relief Foundation?” she asked.

Hill nodded, “On the ground now. Nothing that we haven’t handled before in the way of clean up.”

Toni pursed her lips and leaned closer to the screen, dropping her voice. “Casualties?”

Hill may have been schooled at keeping a straight face, but Toni could see the answer in her eyes. _Yes, there were some injuries and deaths. But it could have been worse._ Toni swallowed the lump in her throat.

“How’s the team?” Hill asked just as softly, concern tinting the normal no-bullshit tone she kept with Toni.

Looking around once again at her teammates, her friends, Toni felt at a complete loss for words. Some caught in her throat and she had to clear it before she could even attempt a response. “Everyone’s …,” she started, wondering why, even for a _second_ , she thought twisting the reality of their situation would work. The truth was glaring; Toni couldn’t protect them from it.

“We took a hit,” she breathed, before she looked at Hill on the screen and forced her own no-bullshit tone to take hold. “We’ll shake it off.”

She believed it, _had to_ … even if the rest of them didn’t. Toni had started this path and yes, it would be her just desserts if those who she thought she was saving became casualties of this battle and couldn’t help her finish it. She wouldn’t believe _that_. They were the Avengers, god dammit. They were stronger than this, better than this. Every single one of them made her believe there was a better way. Toni would do anything for any of them. If she was the last person on Earth that believed in them, then by God she would, and change the minds of everyone in the world.

A heavy sigh pushed through Hill’s lips, “Well, until that time, my suggestion is for you all to lay low. Recuperate. Stay away from New York, away from well populated areas, media...”

Something flared in Toni, “You mean hide?”

Hill looked at her unapologetically, “Until we can pinpoint Ultron and his plans, I don’t have anything else for you, Stark.” She paused and Toni could see a bit of the helpless feeling creep into the agent’s eyes. “I am sorry.”

Toni let a heavy sigh pass through her lips, her hand carding through her mussed hair. “Thank you, Hill. I … you’re right. There’s nothing we can offer now anyway.”

“Let me know your coordinates when you land?” Hill asked. Toni could only nod before she ended the call. She hadn’t been entirely sure she could feel any worse, but she was certain now she was the lowest of low. Her eyes gazed around at her team again and the stab of pain this time was so sharp, her hand flew to her chest where the scar from the arc reactor was still tender.

She did this. Her … hair-brained idea of artificial intelligence was out to kill her friends. And it seemed as if the sadistic bastard was out to torture them first. For five whole seconds, Toni closed her eyes and allowed the familiar sense of disappointment, failure, and anxiety wash over her. How many times had she wished she hadn’t been on her own? How many times — despite her deep down love of both Pepper and Rhodey — did Toni dream of having a family of friends … people she could trust and count on.

She had found that with the Avengers. With Thor, Clint, Nat, Bruce, and … It felt like a punch in the gut as Toni once again stared at Steve. Everything inside her wanted him so badly, but she had went and ruined that as well, hadn’t she? Always the fuck up…

Toni stood from her seat quietly and ignored the others, not that she was even a blip on their radars. They all had their demons to contend with. After a few steps, she slowly sank down to the floor of the Quinjet next to Bruce. He shifted, automatically pulling away from her. Toni pursed her lips, not feeling a lot of hurt by the gesture. She knew it was not only self-preservation on Bruce’s part, but an instinct to protect everyone from what he believed he truly was.

She let him have a moment to adjust, to realize that she wasn’t going to cower from him. And after she felt a smidge of the tension ease, she finally spoke. “I’m sure there is an appropriate way to apologize for beating the snot out of you…”

“Toni,” Bruce started, his voice broken and strained. “Don’t.”

“No, I mean it,” Toni pressed on. “I did a number on you with Veronica, not to mention I dropped you through a building…”

When she looked over at him, she smiled ruefully and felt a twinge of hope in her chest when he gave a half-hearted grunt.

“How about some of that herbal tea you like so much?” she asked softly.

“Don’t be nice to me, Toni,” Bruce said, a tad harshly. “Not now.”

Toni swallowed hard and nodded. She itched to say more, but held her tongue. After a minute, she nodded again and then stood, rubbing her palms on her jeans. Her eyes scanned the cab, desperately looking for something to occupy her mind, to keep her busy. It was then she caught Steve looking at her. Her heart skipped (though she would never admit to such a thing) and she took a hopeful step toward him. But he immediately looked away, turning his back to her. Toni wasn’t sure what heartbreak felt like, but she imagined it was what just happened.

Locking her jaw, steeling her nerves, she turned back to Clint and leaned over his chair. “You want me to take over?” she asked quietly.

The archer looked over his shoulder briefly, his eyebrow raised. Toni sighed, “Come on, you probably need a break, right?”

“Look Stark, I got it. I know the coordinates and I have to say, I don’t particularly feel like giving them to you,” Clint replied, shifting in the seat a bit.

Toni nodded, biting her tongue and turning away. It took her two seconds to turn back and lean over the chair once more, “Look I need something to do, okay?”

When Clint looked at her and didn’t speak, she sighed heavily. “I just … I need to be occupied somehow, Barton. They all are shaken up pretty bad and I can’t help. I need to be of use right now.”

For what felt like a fucking damn eternity, Clint said nothing. In reality it had to have only been about 30 seconds. “Toni, grab some kip. You need it just as much as they do,” he said softly. “Besides, we’re still a few hours out.”

Toni sighed and fell back into the chair directly behind him. “Out from where exactly?” she asked exasperated.

“Safe house,” Clint said quietly, simply.

“Safe house where?” she asked.

To that, he said nothing. Toni rolled her eyes. _Great_.

It was the silence of the Quinjet’s engines that stirred Toni. Her eyes flew open and she sat up quickly, looking around. Clint had landed them in some field, a few trees concealing their view of where exactly they were. Toni sat up and looked around, watching as Clint helped Nat to her feet, stoically guiding her down the opening at the back of the jet. Thor, looking jittery still, gazed around at the other Avengers before he turned and followed Clint without question. When she turned to Steve, he quickly averted his gaze and followed Thor.

Toni stood, her heart heavy. She deserved that, admittedly. All of their nightmares were swirling about their minds because of her actions. It hit her then she hadn’t seen Bruce and her eyes immediately scanned for him, her chest clenching.

“Hey,” a voice said softly behind her, causing her to jump.

Toni turned to come face-to-face with a somewhat better looking Bruce. At least a bit more settled. And dressed. And not sweating. He looked more like himself, which selfishly did Toni’s heart some good.

Bruce wrung his hands in front of himself, a nervous gesture she’d always been fond of. “I wanted to apologize for my attitude earlier, Toni,” he said softly. “I know you were only trying to help…”

It was all she let him get out before, in a momentary lapse of sanity and rare display of emotion, she threw her arms around him in a hug. After a moment of hesitation, Bruce let out a huff of a laugh and hugged her back.

“I’m just glad you’re talking to me,” she confessed to him quietly. She would deny there were tears in her eyes. “We’re science bros, right? If you don’t talk to me, I’m fucking doomed.”

At that, Bruce said nothing but he did tighten his arms around her, which oddly enough made Toni feel slightly better. To avoid it from getting weird, she pulled back after a minute and tried to stealthily wipe her wet eyes.

“I’ll make it right, Bruce,” she found herself whispering. “I’ll fix it.”

“Toni,” he said softly, taking her hand. “You know this isn’t all on you, right?”

She scoffed, “You’re the only person on this little planet that believes that, Dr. Banner.”

He squeezed her hand until her eyes met his. Bruce’s gaze looked sad, but understanding. “He’ll come around. He cares about you.”

The stupid tears were starting to prick her eyes again. “Steve cares about the whole damn planet, quite equally I think.”

“I think you know better than that,” Bruce countered in a rather no-nonsense tone.

She looked up at him, trying will all her bitter little heart to find some hope that he could be speaking the truth. Toni drew in a shaky breath but before she could speak, Steve himself walked back into the Quinjet with purpose. He stopped rather suddenly, looking back and forth between the two of them, then looking down at their hands together. Something flittered across his face, but it disappeared so quickly, Toni couldn’t put her finger on what it was.

“Barton says there’s a bit of a walk. We’re waiting on you two,” Steve said, his voice straight and to the point. For some reason, Toni felt like it would have been better if he had yelled at them.

Because she was being a silly little child, Bruce was the one to acknowledge Steve. “We were just heading out there.”

Steve looked over to Toni again, maybe for confirmation, but for some reason she dropped her gaze. She told herself she did not want to give him the satisfaction of an answer from her, but really she didn’t want to see what was in his eyes. A feeling of disappointment was niggling her. Not that she was disappointed in herself or in Steve, but rather that he was disappointed in her.

He turned and his heavy footsteps echoed as he descended the ramp of the Quinjet once more. Once it was silent, Toni sniffled — regrettably — and looked back up at Bruce. The doctor gave her a rueful smile. “See?” he asked.

She crinkled her brow, “See what?”

“He was worried about you,” he said softly.

Toni scoffed, “Yeah right. The correct answer, Banner, is that he’s pissed I’m once again lagging behind, bringing the team down. You know, all the bad horrible things a narcissistic, smartass like me does.”

Bruce sighed, tugging on her hand and leading her out of the jet. “You’ll get it one day, kid.”

To that she rolled her eyes. But it did get a smirk out of her, which seemed to please Bruce. Once outside, Barton nodded at all of them, “All right, folks. This way please.” He pulled Nat’s arm around his shoulders, hauling her up against him and leading the group through a well-beaten path in the trees.

On the other side, Toni was surprised to see they essentially touched down in a field and off a few 100 yards away was a grand, if not weathered, farm house and barn. She pursed her lips, “Where are we?” she asked aloud, knowing she’d be the only one with the guts to question.

“Iowa,” Clint said simply. That of course did not appease Toni, but there was nothing for it, so she just kept her mouth shut and followed on.

The company stayed quiet for the rest of their trek along the path to the house. The closer they drew to the home, the more Toni could see the uncertain shuffle between the others. Well … between Steve, Thor, and Bruce. Toni hadn’t decided yet if Natasha knew what was going on or if she had been here before.

Finally, their merry band of troops had reached the front stairs of the home and cautiously followed Clint and Natasha up. Thor fell back a step, letting Steve go before him as he turned to Toni.

“What is this place?” the demi-god asked softly.

Taking this as a sign that Thor was sort of speaking to her again, Toni did the only thing she could think of. She shrugged, “A safe house? A good place to regroup?”

“Let’s hope, anyway,” Clint said back to them as he pushed through the front door. “Honey, I’m home!” he called out rather sheepishly.

Toni was about to open her mouth and ask what that was all about, when she got her answer.

“Are you fucking serious right now, Clint? It’s been two goddamn days you couldn’t….,” the booming, masculine voice that mirrored Clint’s in many ways responded to the greeting. It tapered off as the owner of said voice came into the front room where the Avengers had filtered in.

Where Clint was a lean build, this man was a bit more beefed up. Where Clint’s hair was blonde, this man’s was brown. But they had the same eyes, Toni noted, and the same nose. _Oh hell_ … Toni thought.

Thor, clearly confused, again took a step back and looked to Toni, obviously deferring to her for an explanation of what was happening.

Toni cleared her throat, “Ahem, this is most likely an … agent, of some kind,” she offered in explanation.

The man chuckled, “Close, Ms. Stark. Former agent is more correct. FBI.” He then shot her a grin, “Barney Barton. I’m this loser’s older brother.”

Toni and the rest of the Avengers — again, save Natasha — looked over at Clint. The archer shrugged and then gently readjusted his hold on Nat. “After New York, Fury sent me here to Barney’s. Recovery time,” he said simply.

“But you have a brother?” Thor asked in question.

“That would be correct,” Barney answered with a firm nod. “Far more charming, smarter, and good looking older brother,” he added, winking at Natasha. But after a second glance, he immediately turned serious and moved forward to take her from his brother, “Damn, Nat, you look like shit.”

“Geez, Barney, you really know how to make a girl feel special,” the red-head said in her monotone, no-shit taking voice.

Things were slowly falling into place in Toni’s mind. “So… an FBI brother, huh?” she asked Clint.

He gave her a serious stare, “I’d like to keep this off the records, if you don’t mind,” he told her in a low voice as Barney practically carried Nat to the couch. “Barn is out of the bureau but that doesn’t mean people still aren’t looking for him. After New York…”

Toni put a hand on his shoulder, looking at him with a serious gaze of her own. “Deep breath, Clint. We’ve got your back. I definitely do; if they don’t, I’ll kick their asses until they get it, okay?”

Clint let out a breath and nodded, then did something she would have never expected. He wrapped an arm around her and gave her a hug. “Thanks, Stark.”

_Okay,_ she thought, awkwardly patting him on the back. She got it though — family was important. It killed her when Pepper was dragged into Toni’s problems. It nearly killed Pepper during the whole “Red Dragon” fiasco. Toni understood Clint’s reservations about bringing his brother into the mess that was The Avengers. Especially at this current moment.

The soft chatter of everyone else broke her attention, and she watched as both Bruce and Clint went to help with Natasha (which was probably going to get them all kicked in the balls, Toni thought). Thor said something to Steve and turned toward the door, his heavy footsteps thudding on the old wooden floor. Steve quickly followed, calling after the demi-god.

Toni pursed her lips, and for some reason, turned and followed Steve. Just as she came to the doorway, Thor disappeared in a whoosh of dust and rumble of air. Well that was strange…

Steve stood on the porch, staring at the spot where their teammate and friend had disappeared. While Toni could not see his face, the slight hunch of his broad shoulders told her all she needed to know. Thinking back to Bruce’s words and pushing down her building anxiety, she thought maybe she could be brave and stepped toward him.

“Steve?” she asked quietly, even going as far as reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder.

Before she could make the contact however, he turned quickly, looking at her in a way that actually made her recoil back into the house. At that gesture, Steve’s face fell and he turned from her, heading down the front stairs with purpose and stalking back along the path to the QuinJet.

Toni would never admit there was a lump in her throat as she turned back into the house. And so what if Bruce knew just looking at her. Seemed Bruce was the only one who thought she was still worth talking to anyway.

The thought twisted the dull knife that was in her chest a bit more.

~*~*~

Things had settled. With Thor gone and Natasha slowly coming back to herself, the rest of the Avengers seemed to be focus on themselves… or rather their own failings it seemed. Bruce excused himself to the shower. Toni had a feeling it was more to get away from seeing how much Clint hovered over Natasha and how much the attention was welcomed, albeit gruffly.

Steve had yet to return, and that fact bugged the hell out of Toni. Did he just start walking back to civilization? Was he planning on saving the world on his own because he couldn’t count on his team? And then there was the question that had been bugging Toni the most … what _had_ the little witch shown Steve?

Feeling very much the outcast still, Toni decided she needed to do something useful. Clint had Nat taken care of, much to the redhead’s chagrin it seemed. Thor was still M.I.A. That left Bruce to be the recipient of Toni’s need to care. So she trekked out to the QuinJet for his most favorite organic tea, and once back in the Barton homestead, she made her way to the kitchen, setting about filling a kettle with water.

“Would have never thought I’d see Toni Stark acting slightly domesticated,” a deep voice interrupted her quiet musings.

Toni turned, a smart remark ready to let loose. But at seeing Barney Barton leaning against the sink, his arms crossed over his chest and a soft smile curving his mouth, the retort died away. She wasn’t sure why. Mostly she didn’t want to use what little brain power she had left to keep up the persona. So instead, she gave him a forced smile and turned back to her search for a mug.

After a few unsuccessful tries, Barney walked up, opened a certain cabinet, and pulled down a mug. Toni pursed her lips as he held it out to her with a friendly smirk. She sighed and took the cup, “Thank you,” she said softly.

“You’re very welcome, Ms. Stark,” he said just as quietly, leaning against the counter again as he watched her fix up the mug.

“It’s Toni, if you don’t mind,” she said with a friendly smile again.There was something about Barney she was beginning to like. Probably because he was talking to her and not avoiding her like the plague. She swallowed hard at the thought and told herself to grow up.

“I definitely don’t mind at all,” Barney quipped, chancing a step closer to her. “So, may I ask a question, Toni?”

She couldn’t help but chuckle as she finally found the spoons. “Something tells me saying no wouldn’t stop you.”

To that, he only had another charming smile for an answer. So Toni waited him out. She didn’t know enough about him yet to read what his intentions were, but she was trying not to be a judgy bitch too much anymore.

Finally, after Barney let her stew or had his build up, he cleared his throat. “What has you walking around pouting like someone kicked you around?”

Toni scoffed as the kettle’s whistle blew, “I’m not pouting, I don’t pout,” she shot back with a bit of snark.

“Oh yes, you pout. It’s a sexy pout too.”

Toni frowned deeply at him, “Are you flirting with me?”

Barney shrugged, “Depends.”

That intrigued her. “On what?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“If you truly are as hung up on one of your teammates as you act, then no,” he answered with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Oh, I think you do,” he said seriously.

Toni poured the water into the mug, “Fine then, hot shot, what do you think you know?”

When she looked up at him, his face was serious, eyes searching hers as if he wondered if she would admit to the truth if he hit on it. “I think you are head over heels in love and either they don’t return the feelings or you’re too scared to let them love you.”

At that, Toni snorted, turning to drop two teaspoons of sugar into Bruce’s cup. She made the noise because she couldn’t believe how spot on he was. But there was no need for him to know that. After a few moments, she turned to find him smirking at her, looking a damn lot like his younger brother. “Well?” she said. “You’re on a such a role, don’t stop now.”

Barney shifted closer, the smile still wide. “Oh so it is that you’re too scared, isn’t it?”

“Who the hell are you?” Toni suddenly demanded. “What did you do in the FBI?”

He lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Lots of stuff.” Then, in a blink of an eye, the topic was back on her. “So who is it then? That’s the big question…” he mused, as if he was just talking to himself.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed Bruce’s mug. Time to make her exit. But Barney followed as she walked across the kitchen. “It can’t be the weird one with the long hair. You didn’t even bat an eye when he high-tailed it out of here,” he said.

When she came around the counter and into the dining area, Barney jumped in front of her, halting her path. “And it’s not Natasha because …”

“You think I only swing for one team?” Toni challenged, trying to cut him off at the pass. Toni wasn’t afraid of her sexuality and she knew Nat wasn’t either. She’d totally have Toni’s back, no questions asked.

She felt a bit of grand satisfaction at seeing Barney raise an eyebrow, genuinely surprised by her question. “No,” he said slowly; more like he was doing it for her benefit, not thinking of a response. “You totally would. However, it’s not Nat.”

Toni tried to move past him, but he closed her path again. “So that leaves the three — the good doctor, my bird-brain brother, and Captain Goody Two-Shoes.”

“I thought everyone in American military or government had a hard on for Steve, calling him by proper, deserving titles,” she quipped, thinking of Rhodey.

To that, Barney said nothing, only cocking his head to the side just barely. “Yeah, it’s not my brother. One, he’s too head over for Nat and always will be.”

“So it’s Bruce,” Toni blurted, hoping to cut him off at the pass. “You figured it out. Congratulations.” Bruce wouldn’t be as willing as Nat to back her up, but he would give it the ol’ college try for her. That’s what Science Bros were for after all, right? Besides, here she was making him tea and being worried about him. That meant something. Would set off some warning bells…

She should have figured at this point that Barney had his answer of who it was before this little game began. He stared at her for a full 10 seconds after her “confession” before his face started to break into a wide grin. “No, it’s not.”

Toni swallowed hard and dropped her eyes from him, trying to move around him again. Oddly enough, this time Barney let her go. She made it five steps before he stopped her to a dead halt with four words.

“It’s Steve, isn’t it?”

She sighed heavily and bowed her head. “It’s pretty damn obvious, I thought Barton,” she tried to joke, but it didn’t feel earnest at all.

His heavy footsteps echoed in her ear as he came around to face her. The cup of tea which was quickly cooling left her hands before Barney took hold of her shoulders. “Toni, you know Captain America is probably the best candidate to love someone like you.”

She laughed sadly, cursing him for the stupid tears coming to her eyes. “Steve is the best candidate for _anybody_. I, on the other hand, am just the fucked up rich girl who happens to be a frickin’ genius,” she replied.

“Then figure it out, genius,” Barney quipped.

Toni turned her eyes up to him, glaring, “Oh, thank you smartass. Like I hadn’t thought of that one. Christ, you really are Clint’s brother. No doubt about it.”

She went to step around him, but Barney grabbed her arm, pulling her back. “Toni, you’re better than this, okay?” He loosened his hold on her a bit and when he was obviously sure she wouldn’t bolt, he bent down to catch her eyes. “I know that because my brother has talked of you as a friend. Because Nat gives you respect. Those are the only things I need to know that you’re a good person, Toni Stark.”

Toni cursed under her breath when she sniffled at his words. Because of course now that he had figured out who she was in love with, he was going to circle the drain at the root of the problem. Her.

“And you know what, _you_ deserve Steve,” he said firmly. “I haven’t known you but for a few hours and I know that, okay? You are the person that deserves him.”

“Yeah, why’s that?” she smarted off, hand quickly swiping under her eyes.

Barney let go of her arm and both of his hands took hers. “Because you’re Toni fucking Stark.”

To that she actually laughed. It was rather ruefully, but it was a laugh. Finally, she looked up at him and shook her head sadly. “Barton, that’s exactly why I don’t deserve him.”

He waited her out for an explanation and because she couldn’t handle the silence, she caved like a cheap suitcase. “He doesn’t trust me,” she said quietly. “He can’t love me if he can’t trust me.”

Barney nodded, “You aren’t lying there. Why do you think he doesn’t trust you?” he asked instead.

Toni shrugged, “He keeps saying it’s because I kept things from him. Things about …” She stopped short and looked up, narrowing her eyes a bit. Could she talk about Ultron? Could she admit to Barney Barton, a near stranger, about the motives of the program and AI when she hadn’t even been able to come clean with the people she was closest with?

Finally, she heaved a big sigh. “Things about this artificial intelligence that’s now trying to kill us.”

To that, Barney only raised an eyebrow, “I gotta say, Toni, considering everything I kind of don’t blame him there.”

She crossed her arms, “Yes, I know that. But the thing is, he acts like a disappointed grandpa. Like I’m doing this on purpose just to piss him off rather than listening to me, hearing me out. I DO have good intentions, ok? I don’t mean to be a gigantic asshole 85 percent of the time.”

“Have you tried to make him listen or when he gets defensive do you just stomp like a child and resort to barbed, witty comeback lines?” he asked in a voice that Toni said the smart ass already knew the answer to that question.

“You always know the answer to everything?” she fired back.

Barney shrugged, “I never ask a question I don’t already know the answer to.”

It took everything in her to make herself hold her tongue and take a deep breath to gather her thoughts. He let her stew, of which upon reflection, she was grateful for. After a few moments, she looked back up at him, feeling her sadness at the situation lurking in her eyes. “Then what do I do?” she asked softly.

“You make him listen, Toni. Don’t play the role he’s expecting. Open up to him when you are comfortable enough to then he’ll come to understand when you don’t tell him things.”

She sighed heavily, feeling her shoulders slump, “So in other words, I need a miracle now. He won’t even talk to me at present.”

“You care about him?” Barney asked.

Toni looked up at him with a glare, to which the older Barton laughed and threw an arm around her shoulders. He squeezed her to him and surprisingly kissed the top of her head. It was kind of condescending and made her punch him in the gut… if not softly because he was trying to help. He laughed as he clutched at his stomach.

“Damn, Toni,” he laughed.

“Then stop asking those damn things you already know. Son of a bitch,” she grumbled.

Still grinning, Barney squeezed her again, “Then stop acting like you aren’t the genius we all know you are.”

~*~*~

Steve was back.

Toni only knew this because she had been sitting on the Bartons’ couch, looking out the window waiting for him. After she had re-fixed Bruce’s tea. And fixed the bathroom light. And the water heater. And the cable antenna. No one ever could say that she never went after a problem with gusto. After her talk with Barney in the kitchen, Toni had become determined to take his advice to heart. No more running, no more snarky remarks (okay, maybe not as many snarky remarks). Time to start standing her ground and make those she cared about listen to her.

Time to stop avoiding confrontation.

Steve was dressed down; a pair of jeans and one of the UnderArmor shirts he had become so fond of. Toni could not afford to be distracted by that, she told herself as she quietly walked across the front lawn of the home toward him. He had apparently taken it upon himself to cut the huge logs of wood lying about, which looked like had been started and long ago forgotten about.

The sound of Steve splitting the logs was a bit more deafening than she wanted to admit. Mostly because when Steve swung the ax, he would split the large section of the tree trunk into four pieces automatically. Toni Stark was never a woman to be afraid of something … and if she was, she wasn’t stupid enough to talk about that fear or let it show.

But she sure as hell was terrified now.

Approaching his “work” area, Toni stopped next to the pile of uncut logs and waited for him to acknowledge her. That was the best thing, right? Let the simmering, big, bad beast make eye contact first?

He made eye contact all right, but it was a quick glance before he turned back and grabbed another log. _Okay then,_ she thought. _I have to be the bigger person._

“Need any help?” she asked. Okay, so that was lame.

Steve only shrugged and she took that neither as an acceptance of her offer or a dismissal of it. So, she picked up one of the half logs on the ground, put it up on the free tree stump, and then reached for the second ax lying near by. Toni noted that Steve watched every move she made while she continued on with her task, but again, he said not a word to her.

Trying to remember how to swing an ax — yes, she had done so once before and no, it had not been in a violent gesture. She had been to summer camp once — Toni picked up the damn thing and swung, cutting the log in half cleanly. Despite the situation at hand, she felt pretty damn good about this feat and smiled brightly at her handy work, looking over at Steve for … what? Confirmation? Acceptance? Any type of response?

She was happy when she saw him smile _just_ a bit at the two new logs to add to his massive pile. Well, that was a start anyway. . .

“How are you feeling?” she asked, because showing concern about the other person was definitely the way to go. And Toni was concerned. Very concerned. She wouldn’t add it to any conversation, but she was more than a bit worried the longer he had been away.

Again, a nonchalant shrug from him. “I’m fine,” he added and though it was blunt, she felt the breath leave her in a bit of relief.

Steve went through three more logs after that, in the time it took Toni to split one large log in half, then split it again. When he pulled up his fourth, she decided it was time to get to the point.

“What did Thor say before he flew off into the blue yonder?” she asked.

He sighed, “He said he needed to find answers and they wouldn’t be here.”

_Okay…._ “Did he happen to say where these answers would be?”

Steve split another log and looked up at Toni, “No, he didn’t. Sometimes my teammates don’t tell me things. I was holding out hope Thor would be the exception.”

Ah, so that was it. He felt like there was another betrayal, this time by someone other than Toni. He was hurt. She pursed her lips and studied him with a bit more understanding. “Give him time, Steve,” she ventured softly, knowing if Thor had his reasons, they were probably very good ones. Hell, she had some reasons for holding things from him and she thought they were decent at best. She was willing to bet Thor’s were good enough.

At her words, he looked up at her sharply, obviously looking for a bit more justification. Toni shrugged, “We don’t know what the Maximoff kid showed him. He could probably use a little benefit of the doubt here.”

“Did she ever show you anything, Toni?” Steve asked abruptly.

She took a step back from the stump and looked at him in surprise. “You … you think she got to me?”

Toni had never mentioned, to any of them, that she had already figured out it was the Scarlet Witch that had gotten to her at Strucker’s castle. But what she had been shown was not a great fear, not a ‘possible outcome.’ Toni had been shown the future, the truth. She saw what was going to happen to the world if she high-tailed it and hid away like she had planned before Steve brought her back to the Avengers.

“I know she got to you, yes,” he said, just as curtly, lifting a log and placing it down before he swung his ax and splintered it. “And once again, you didn’t say anything to any of us about it.”

She gulped. “It wasn’t your burden to bear,” she said softly.

“Well it is now. Because I don’t know what she showed you, but it made you do something stupid,” he countered, Brooklyn accent thick as he picked up another log and swiftly dispatched it as well.

This was already getting out of control. Toni wanted to lodge the ax in the stump and turn back to the house. Yes, it would have not been what she wanted to do, but at least she could say she hadn’t thrown a fit like a toddler. But her feet were glued right where she was and refused to let her move. She rested the ax head on the ground and gripped the handle, wondering what she could possibly do now.

Steve’s ire was clearly growing. Now that Thor was apparently keeping secrets, Captain America thought it a good time to take everything out on Toni. Or at least pick on her, she thought. Which was pissing her off.

“Earth’s mightiest heroes,” Steve mused, rather sarcastically Toni noted. “Pulled us apart like cotton candy.”

Toni crossed her arms, “Well, at least you walked away okay.”

Steve dropped his next log victim on the stump. “You have a problem with that?” he accused.

Taking a deep breath and trying to remember she was supposed to _not_ get defensive with him, she looked at him seriously. “No, of course not. It’s just obvious what everyone else was shown, except you and Thor. Since he went to find answers, I can’t ask him if he’s alright. Maybe I just care and want to make sure you don’t turn into me and do something, as you so eloquently put, stupid.”

At her words, Steve did look a tad guilty for his earlier statement. He picked up the ax and turned from her, swinging hard and lodging the blade into the stump. So that was a bit of progress.

“You know Ultron is trying to tear us apart, right?” she asked softly, trying to close the space between them as he paused in his work.

“Well, you would know. Whether you tell us or not is the issue,” he quipped and Toni wasn’t sure if she should be even more pissed off or proud of him for his smart ass remark. Considering what she was trying to accomplish, she went with pissed off.

“I told you, Steve, Banner and I were doing research…” she started.

“That would affect the team,” he accused again, turning to her.

“That would end the team!” she admitted, and loudly too. Why couldn’t he see? What in the hell didn’t he get about this, what she was trying to do?! Why did it seem so goddamn lost on him!

“Is that our mission or not, Steve? Because I’m getting kind of confused. It seems like you don’t want the fighting to end, you just want to keep it going on without even trying to put a stop to it. I thought we were fighting to end it, to find a way for us all to live in peace, to go home!” she said heatedly.

She watched as with each word, Steve seemed to be pressing his lips together into a thinner and thinner line until finally, at her last exclamation, he gritted his teeth and pulled apart the tree log he was holding. Pulled it clean in half with his bare hands. The action, so out of character for Steve, caused Toni to jump back.

He turned to her and his eyes flashed with a deep anger she didn’t know he possessed. “Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocent people die, Toni. Every time.”

She swallowed hard and felt her hurt creep back up. So that’s what he thought of her; that she was looking for a profit before the war began. Same ol’ Toni. She shook her head, taking another step closer to him and raising her chin; she wasn’t afraid of him or his words.

“What about the people who die during the war, Steve?” she asked softly. “What about those people hurt or killed when we fight? Huh, what about them? Do we just pretend there isn’t anything we can do to stop the fighting?”

Steve blinked a few times at her and suddenly the anger was gone, replaced by a confusion she had seen before, seen on the QuinJet as they flew out of South Africa.

“What did she show you?” Toni whispered.

Steve turned away from her and picked up a half of the log, “That’s not the point.”

“Oh no, I think it is,” she countered softly, but still with force.

“The point is you lied to me about what you were doing,” he said and the accusation came so quickly to his lips again, Toni almost lost it entirely.

“I never lied to you!” she cried out, arms spread wide as if she was baring her soul to him. “What Bruce and I were doing _was_ research. We had no idea that it was already semi-intelligent.”

At that information, Steve shot her one of his patent condescending looks. Toni rolled her eyes. 

“Yes, that is on me. Everything that has happened is on me, I admit that,” she said, dropping her voice. “I haven’t once shrunk from my responsibility in this, though. And it would be nice if you could acknowledge what we were doing.”

The look turned to a glare as he moved away and grabbed the ax, splitting the log in half. After he set down the ax again, Toni took her chance, stepping forward and putting a hand to his shoulder. He didn’t pull away, which was a good sign, so she pulled him back to face her, looking at him urgently.

“We cannot keep going how we are, Steve, we have got to become more proactive. We have to start looking at protecting the Earth, not just fucking showing up at the corral and expecting to win the fight every time!” she said, desperate for him to understand her plight … no, not her plight, her _mission_. The good that she was truly trying to do, not shrug off to a robot so she could sit back and sip on martinis.

He heaved a heavy breath and dropped his head, looking up at her with a bit of sadness, a bit of exhaustion she thought, and still that hurt and confused tint in his eyes.

“Status quo isn’t working anymore,” she breathed, her hand slipping from his shoulder to rest lightly on his forearm. A peace offering and a desperate act to keep contact with him. “We’ve got to change. If we don’t … then what the hell are we fighting for?”

Steve raised his head a bit, meeting her eyes head on. Toni made sure to keep herself as non-defensive as possible. She wasn’t mad at him, not anymore. She was just hurt. But more importantly, she missed him. That brief moment of bliss they had in Avengers Tower at the party; the smiles he had for her, the kisses, the back-and-forth they had as the small group of them lounged around … she missed it.

The moment was slowly winding around them, holding them together. But then the sound of a throat clearing behind them broke it.

“Um, Toni,” Barney said sheepishly. “Our tractor hasn’t been working lately, and as much as I hate to admit it…”

She stepped back slowly from Steve — mostly to show him that she wasn’t embarrassed by being caught so close to him — and turned to Barney with a forced smile. “Yeah, I’ll take a look at it,” she offered.

Toni waited until Barney turned to give them space before she turned back to Steve, heaving a sigh. Time to show her vulnerability … though it was killing her to do so.

“I wish sometimes you would just listen to me, that you would hear me out instead of automatically casting me into the role of villain of the group,” she said softly, despising the tone of her voice, even though it the most truthful thing she had said so far.

“Toni, I don’t…,” Steve countered softly, but she shook her head, meeting his gaze.

“Contrary to popular belief, I AM trying, okay?” she argued. “I want to do good, I’m working constantly to do good. I’m not trying to rain all hell down on the Avenger parade.”

Steve swallowed hard and looked down, placing his hands on his hips.

“It would be nice, for once, to have my teammates trust me as much as I trust them. And maybe back me up for once,” she whispered before she took a few steps back and turned to follow Barney.

And just to be a bitch because hey, she was allowed a little bit of mercy to save face, she turned back and pointed at her wood pile, “And don’t you dare touch my pile!”

Toni tried to not stomp away because she thought she had done a fairly decent job of not acting like a child during their discussion. When she met Barney on the way to the barn, she was thankful that he didn’t say anything first. Trying to process everything that had happened, that had been said between them was taking up enough of her brain power at the present moment.

As they neared the entrance to the barn, however, Barney gently nudged her shoulder, “How did it go?” he asked softly.

Toni snorted, “How do you think?” she replied, with a bit more venom than she would have liked toward him. It wasn’t his fault, after all.

He sighed heavily and ran a hand over his hair, “Look, Toni, I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, interrupting him as she looked up with a rueful smile, “No, don’t be, Barney. It was good advice.” Then just because hell, she wasn’t sure what her problem was, she leaned up and kissed his cheek. “My execution is just off, I suppose,” she said softly.

They had a moment of silence, and she was sure Barney was allowing her the chance to continue to process everything or maybe it was just that he wanted to make sure she was okay. That was a new one since lately it had only been Bruce to make sure Toni wasn’t self-destructing.

“Want some help? I could hand you tools, if you want some company,” he said after a moment.

Toni’s smile was more genuine this time as she patted his chest, “No, I think I want to be alone for a bit. But thank you, Barney. I mean it.”

He nodded and opened the door for her, allowing her in to assess the damage of their tractor. Once the door shut behind her and her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, Toni looked around. There were odds and ends of course; things one would expect when finding themselves in a barn. She peaked and saw some old targets which she figured were from Clint’s days as a young archer.

Finally, just ahead of her, was the subject of her visit — a decent looking John Deere tractor. Circa 1980s, maybe, if she had to venture a guess. It didn’t look completely beat up, but it wasn’t in the best shape either. Sighing, Toni made her way to the machine, thinking it would do her some good to get her hands dirty.

“Hello, Deere,” she murmured, poking at the machine a bit. “Tell me everything these Barton boys did to you. All that ails you; I’m here to fix you all up again.”

“Do me a favor please,” a gruff, familiar voice broke her musings and Toni’s shoulders slumped as she turned and found herself faced with none other than Nick Fury. “Try not to bring it to life?” he asked.

Toni groaned, “Barney Barton, you son of a bitch,” she whispered before turning to Nick fully. “So what? Maria Hill called you?” She laughed and shook her head as she grabbed one of the wrenches on top of the tractor, “Should have figured. Tell me, was she ever NOT working for you?”

“Artificial intelligence, Toni,” Nick said in a low, authoritative, disappointed tone. “You never even blinked, did you?”

She wasn’t sure what happened exactly at his words. Maybe she was fed up. Maybe she was too strung out. Maybe after this last go around with Steve she had played all of her cards; there was nothing left for her to do now, to fix it. She had lost and she just needed to accept it.

The emotion came rushing at her so quickly, she briefly thought it was another of her fantastic panic attacks she was keen to have after New York. But no, this was different. This was hurt and hopelessness. This was sadness like she hadn’t known in a long time.

She turned quickly at the onslaught and hoped to hide her sniffle, before she turned back to him, “Look, it’s been a really long day for me, okay? Like, Eugene O’Neil long and I honestly do not have it in me to go around in this fight again.” She fiddled with something in the tractor with the wrench before she swallowed hard. “I’ve been through it with everyone on the team at least once, and fuck, Steve and I have at least fought about it a gazillion damn times, I don’t …” She tugged hard on the breakline and it pulled free abruptly, and she tossed the rotted thing away as she felt herself hiccup on a sob.

Toni lowered her head and wiped at the damn tears, “I just can’t, okay? So unless you have something to add other than berating me …”

At first, Nick said nothing and Toni felt a relief. She was so tired of justifying herself, so tired of trying to keep up the persona that things weren’t bugging her.

Finally, he sighed and stepped closer to her, “I need you to look me in the eye and promise me you’re going to shut him down.”

Feeling spiteful, Toni tugged on the oil filter in the tractor and ripped it out, “Hey, guess what. You’re not the director of me, so I don’t have to promise you shit,” she replied with a grunt as she chucked the filter in the direction of the brake line.

“I’m not the director of anybody, Toni,” Nick said softly, as if he was speaking to a damn child.

That made her angry and she turned to him, feeling as if she were vibrating she was so pissed off, “Then what are you, huh?”

The look he gave her was not of defeat, but one of patience. He was going to wait out her … mood, or whatever it was she was in. As if to prove her train of thought correct, he took a deep breath and sat down on a bale of hay, “I’m just an old man, kid. One that, despite your foolish efforts, cares very much about you,” he said matter-of-factly.

The statement made Toni drop her head and sigh heavily. Her control on herself was slipping more and more. She ran her hand through her loose hair and gave him a lopsided grin. “Well, you’re apart of a very small pool, Former Director.”

“That’s not true. They all care about you,” he said. “Why would you think they didn’t? Over this?”

Toni scoffed, “I’m going to be the person that kills the Avengers, Nick.” She tossed the wrench out in front of her and slowly sat down herself. “I saw it, right there, all in front of my eyes. I saw them dead, because I was a coward, because I wanted to hide...”

Nick leaned forward and looked at her, his tone matching the serious glare he gave her, “The Maxinoff girl, she’s working you, Stark. Playing on that fear...”

Toni shook her head, feeling her frustration come forward again, “No,” she countered sternly. “I was not tricked, Nick. I was _shown_ , okay? This was not a nightmarish fear, this was the future. This was what I refused to stop. And the sick part?” She gave a mocking laugh and threw her hands up, “Oh the sick part is … I’m going to make it happen anyway!”

At the confession, Nick stood and looked at her as if he deeply understood — more than she would ever know — what she was speaking about. “You’ve always been so imaginative, Toni, coming up with inventions even your dad couldn’t believe.” He stopped and squat in front of her. “But war isn’t one of them, even with your past.”

Toni sniffled again, wiping away tears and hung her head, “You know, I was almost happy? I had a family with them. I trusted them and I … belonged. I never belonged before. And with Steve,” she huffed out a laugh before the tears began to start in earnest.

Nick grabbed her hand and unceremoniously pulled her to her feet. Toni was startled by the action and looked at him with wide eyes as he took hold of her shoulders. He leaned down and held her gaze, “You do belong. Just because they are mad, doesn’t mean you still don’t mean something to them, Toni. As for the Captain, I’ll have a talk with him.”

For a whole 30 seconds, she just stared at him wide-eyed. Then the reality of what he just said hit her and she couldn’t help it. Her face cracked and she started to laugh. “So what,” she got out between her broken chuckles and tears. “Is this like the prom where you confront my date with a loaded shotgun and warn him about breaking my heart?”

“No,” Nick responded, face completely straight. “But I do have a 9 millimeter if he’s being a little shit.”

Toni lost it again, almost leaning forward into him she laughed so hard. And this time, thankfully, when she wiped at her tears, they were from her laughter. Finally, when she had regained some sense of control over herself, she looked up at him thoughtfully, “My dad never cared about who I dated …” Then she pulled a face as a realization hit her. “Actually, he never really got the chance to care.”

Nick dropped his arms from her shoulders and headed to the door, the universal Nick Fury sign to follow along or get left behind. “You know I knew him well, Toni. And trust me, he would have cared,” he said over his shoulder.

He stopped at the door and waited for her to catch up. Pursing her lips, Toni slowly closed the distance between them. When she reached his side, Nick looked over at her seriously. “I definitely care. About all of you. And I may not be a director of anyone anymore, but hell if I’m not here to set you all straight.”


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a bit of a wake up call...

__ And I was burnin’ up a fever  
__ I didn’t care much how long I lived  
__ But I swear I thought I dreamed her  
__ She never asked me once about the wrong I did…  
     Work Song — Hozier

 

Steve was absently keeping an ear to the conversation between Romanoff and the Barton brothers while his mind kept drawing him back to the conversation earlier with Toni. He had let his anger and frustration cloud his judgment again when it came to her.  _ No wonder she is finding solace in Bruce and now Barton’s brother, _ he chided himself.  _ You can’t even trust her enough to have a decent conversation with her.  _

And wasn’t it just his luck that was the exact thought that was niggling him. Romanoff had a darker, bloodier history than all of them put together and Steve trusted her. Why was it so hard with Toni? 

_ Because you can’t predict her _ , a different voice said. 

But he couldn’t predict Peggy and that made him love her more than he would probably readily admit to anyone. So then what was the catch with Toni? Maybe it was because, like Peggy, Steve cared a bit more than he was ready to admit. 

_ And why should you be afraid?  _ the first voice asked.  _ What is so wrong in saying you care about someone?  _

_ Because then you lose that someone  _ … the second voice answered, flashes of the “dream” the Maxinoff girl showed him flittering through his mind. The noise of the Big Band, the flashes from the cameras so like the flashes of a fire-fight … Peggy asking for that dance … Toni standing in the empty room, hand stretched out to him … 

Steve drew in a deep breath, one that was a bit shuddery, and leaned forward in his chair, placing his face in his hands. Toni had accused him of not listening to her. Funny how it felt similar to the accusation from Peggy that he did not know how to talk to women. Steve was starting to realize, even after all these years, Peggy was still right on the money. 

Not that it negated what Toni had done — something even she freely admitted — but Steve was starting to wonder if he had just shown a bit of trust in her, proved all that he had said at the party about caring for her, then maybe, just  _ maybe _ , Toni would have been more open with him. 

He sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his neck in an effort to rid himself of the throbbing in his head. He would never concede to being completely wrong about Toni when it came to Ultron, but he sure as hell messed things up earlier at the wood pile. She was reaching out to him, despite everything, and he had slapped her hand away like a child. 

The front door opened and shut and Steve’s head came up at the sound of two voices. All talking in the kitchen ceased as well as Toni came around the corner with …

“Fury,” Steve said, knowing his face reflected the confusion and surprise that were evident in his voice. 

“Boss,” Natasha echoed, though her voice sounded a bit brighter and more … relieved? 

“Well, at least there are a few people who are still glad to see me,” the former director responded, sending a leery look toward Toni. 

Steve watched as she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms as Fury moved into the dining area. Steve stood quickly, sure he was still gaping at the director. “When did you get here? Why are you here?” he fired off rapidly, not quite sure why he felt a sense of dread yet hope all rolled together at seeing Fury. 

The look Fury gave him was equal to basically telling Steve to shut his trap, there were more important things to deal with. He did still give Steve an answer. “I’m here to help you all solve your fuck ups,” he said simply.

Steve opened his mouth, ready to say it wasn’t  _ all  _ of them that fucked up… but seeing Toni shift behind Fury and then slip away, he decided silence was the best option. He moved around Fury before he could even think of what he was going to say to her. As he left the dining area, he caught up with her just as she headed up the stairs. 

Steve stepped up on two of them before he decided to speak, “Toni, wait,” he said, trying to keep his voice down as he had yet to hear conversation pick back up in the kitchen. 

Toni heaved a big sigh, but she did stop, which he counted as a victory in itself. Then after a moment, she slowly turned, looking at him expectantly, lips pinched tightly together and eyes full of … well he wasn’t sure he wanted to give it a name at that moment. God, how she reminded him of Peggy right then.

He cleared his throat and tried to come off less like a jackass. “Where are you going?” 

_ Yes, Steve, because demanding things of a woman will always warm her up to you _ , a voice said. 

And just to prove that after 70 years, he in fact still couldn’t speak to a woman, Toni gave him a look of complete disgust. For 30 seconds, he wondered if she was going to come down the stairs and punch him. Instead, she crossed her arms and glared. 

“I’m sweaty and dirty, I thought it might be good to take shower. Is that okay with you, Captain, or is that something else you’d like me to clear with you before doing it?” she asked, her voice clipped. 

Steve’s shoulders slumped, “No, Toni, of course not, I just meant…”

But she threw a hand up and turned away, “Save it, I’m not interested.”

He watched her walk up the stairs and disappear, feeling once again that whatever foothold he had gotten with Toni was completely gone. It stung a lot, realizing it. He sighed and turned, finding Fury standing at the bottom of the stairs, glaring up at him. The two men said nothing to each other and Steve thought if he was going to win at least one battle that day, it would be this one. 

After a few moments, Fury himself heaved in a deep breath and headed toward the front door, “Come on, Rogers.” 

“For?” Steve challenged. 

The former director stopped and turned, glaring again, “You and I need to have a talk.” 

_ He’s not lying there _ , Steve thought as he slowly trekked over to the front door and walked out. Fury took the lead and just calmly sat down on the first step of the porch. Steve lingered in the doorway for a second, taking in the fact that there was barely a sound around them. Just birds chirping at the setting sun and a few crickets beginning to make themselves known. He found he enjoyed the quietness of it, the ease that it was presenting. Since he had “come back,” he had thought a lot about what had been lost to him. All of his friends gone, Peggy suffering from Alzheimer’s … Even with the Avengers and his once-upon-a-time position with S.H.E.I.L.D., Steve had still felt lost, searching for a purpose. 

At one time, he thought vaguely, he had wanted this, a quiet life. He barely remembered that now. Once his mother died and the war started, Steve thought of little else but getting to the front line…

“Quit your introspection and get over here. Despite you and Stark’s similar beliefs, I am not here just to fix your tortured souls,” Fury said in a tone that was an odd combination of harsh and comical. 

Steve drew in a deep breath and didn’t quite drag his feet toward Fury, but it almost felt like it. He did it, however, sit a respectable distance from the former director and let his arms hang over his bent knees as he looked out over the land before them. 

“So, do you want to explain why you’re a dumbass or should I?” Fury asked. 

Steve breathed out harshly and hung his head, “Look, I know I’ve been hard on her. But considering the circumstances…” 

“Oh I know the circumstances. Why in the hell else am I here?” Fury interrupted. 

Steve pursed his lips together and set his jaw. “She didn’t say anything to us, okay? She has has to realize the mistake she’s made. The danger the world is in now because of her.” 

“And what, you’re going to hold it over her head for the next five years, Rogers?” Fury asked. “Trust me, Toni Stark knows when she messes up. The problem is, she never lets it go. So every little barb you throw at her is just more ammunition for her to hate herself. Which, yes, makes her decisions after even worse.”

Steve hung his head again, feeling his shoulders slump, “I know. And I didn’t want to do that to her. But I can’t ignore it.” 

“Tell me, did you ever ask her what happened at Strucker’s place?” Fury seemed to be full of questions as well as his own answers.

However, the query did cause him to pause and think. He had been aware, after hearing a bit of a conversation between Toni and Bruce following Ultron’s first appearance, that Toni felt she had been confronted by the Maxinoff kid while at Strucker’s. It wasn’t until after South Africa that Steve realized if the two women had an altercation, whatever vision Toni had been shown was what caused her sudden need to create artificial intelligence. Up until the Avengers were tasked to find Loki’s scepter, Toni had disappeared from the world. Steve had been getting quiet updates from Pepper Potts on Toni’s whereabouts and health. She had shown no signs of anything like this until  _ he _ had dragged her back into the Avengers. 

That truth hit him hard and he was starting to think just as badly of himself. 

“I suppose it never occurred to me…” he started quietly. 

“I suppose maybe it should have before you jumped down her throat like you yourself are all high and mighty, Captain,” Fury interrupted. 

Steve opened his mouth to provide a reply, but Fury wasn’t having it. “I know, I know. I’m pissed at her as well. She should have known better. I thought she was stronger. But then there were things I hadn’t taken into account that she has now reminded me of,” he said.

Steve’s brow furrowed, “What things?”

Fury sighed and finally looked over at him. “Toni would be the first to tell you her life as been anything but hard. She never wanted for anything, had the best schools, and on top of it was more of a genius than her father.” He paused and looked out across the field, rubbing his hands together. “But, she lost Howard and Maria at an early age, and she wasn’t sure how to handle that. Emotions aren’t easy for her, they never have been.” 

Steve swallowed hard and bowed his head, his heart clenching for the young Toni he had never known. 

“Toni has been on her own for quite some time, Rogers. Her father’s butler, Jarvis, was all she had until he passed away before she graduated MIT, and that was at a pretty damn young age too. Then Obadiah twisted and manipulated her into creating a company her father nor she would have ever wanted. He betrayed her quite deeply.” 

Fury paused and then looked over at Steve, “We can’t fault her for playing her cards close to the chest.”

Steve ran his hand through his hair, “Even I can admit you have a point there.” He paused and swallowed hard. “I had read her file before the team first started, but I should have realized those don’t always hold all the details.”

He felt guilty now. Not guilty for calling her on what she had done with Ultron, but guilty for letting his anger and disappointment in her cloud his judgment. And his hurt … he wasn’t too proud to admit to himself at least that her lack of opening up to him had hurt him. He had thought they were friends, hoped they could be something more. At the first test, he completely failed. Even when she tried to patch it up and get  _ him  _ to open up to  _ her _ , he closed her off more viciously than she had him. 

_ Fury’s right,  _ the little voice sounded in his mind.  _ You are a dumbass.  _

Steve looked over at the former director, a little lost on what to say or do next. After a moment, Fury turned toward him and gave him a gruff expression. “Well what the hell are you gaping at me for? Go talk to her,” he ordered lowly. “Hell if I’m gonna hold your damn hands through it.”

Steve let out a huff of a laugh and clapped Fury’s shoulder, “Thank you.” He then stood and headed inside as quietly as he could. He could hear the banter between Clint and Barney as Natasha threw in a remark every once in awhile. Steve didn’t hear Bruce’s voice but peaking through the doorways as he cautiously made his way upstairs, he saw the doctor looking more than a bit downtrodden at one end of the dining room table. 

Upstairs, there was only one door slightly closed and even from his perch at the top of the stairs, Steve could clearly hear the shower running in the distance. He slowly pushed open the door of the master bedroom and glanced around. There were clothes lying on the bed and across the room, the door to the bathroom was slightly cracked, allowing the steam of the shower to slowly slip out. 

Steve took a deep breath and stepped fully into the room, shutting the door behind him. He quietly made his way over to the bed and sat down, determined to wait Toni out. They had both messed up; it was time he owned up to his part as well. 

After a few minutes, he was beginning to get worried about her. He wasn’t  _ trying  _ to peek in or invade her privacy, but he should have at least heard something — a bottle dropping, her shuffling about, the splash of water from her wringing out her hair. Steve was debating on standing and at least trying to find a modest way of peeking in when he finally heard it. 

It wasn’t quite a sob, but it was close. Like she had caught it just before it could completely make itself known to the silence around her. After a moment, another one filtered through and Steve felt it like a hard punch to his gut. 

Those two sobs turned, and quickly. And though part of him thought he should leave, he shouldn’t invade Toni’s moment of vulnerability without her knowing, he still sat. He listened to her cry for 15 minutes. 

Finally, the water shut off. He heard her sniffle and the shifting of the shower curtain. Steve took a deep breath, bending his head and keeping his eyes down. He knew Toni would not take his sitting in the room during her shower well. Best to try to start the conversation off as well as he could.

The bathroom door creaked as Toni pulled it open and despite his best efforts, Steve’s head rose and he looked right at her. 

When she caught sight of him, she came to an abrupt stop in the doorway and clutched her towel around her tighter. They didn’t say anything for what he felt like was the longest time. His eyes scanned her and he couldn’t help but feel the catch in his heartbeat deeply. She looked tired, bone-deep tired as he felt. But she was still gorgeous; her dark hair tumbling around her shoulders in wet ringlets, her brown eyes wide as she looked at him. 

He saw her gulp noticeably and readjust her hold on her large towel. “I didn’t realize there was a line,” she muttered softly, taking only a few cautious steps into the room. 

Steve stood abruptly, “Toni, I …” he started, but she tore her gaze from him and blatantly ignored his attempt. 

“You’re in luck. I fixed the water heater earlier,” she said quickly, snatching up the clothes that were beside him on the bed. “Give it 20 minutes and you should have hot water.” She then turned and headed back to the bathroom.

“I’m not waiting on the shower,” he said calmly, watching as she came to another stop. 

Toni didn’t turn, just looked over her shoulder. When she spoke, her voice sounded as exhausted as she looked. “Steve, I can’t keep going around with you, okay? Please, can’t I just have a moment’s peace from it?”

Her words tore him right in half. He heaved a heavy sigh and found himself sitting back on the bed. “I'm not here to fight, Toni,” he said softly, resting his arms on his thighs and leaning forward. “I don’t want to fight anymore.” 

When he chanced a look back up at her, she gazed at him uncertainly, shifting on her feet. But she didn’t say anything. She didn’t tell him to leave nor did she move away. He pursed his lips, looking down at his hands clasped together. 

“Back in the 40s, when the war broke out, I didn’t think about much else other than getting on the frontline,” he found himself suddenly saying, not sure where the words were coming from. “My mom had passed about two years before we got into it. I didn’t have anybody besides Bucky, and he was shipped out soon after Pearl Harbor.” 

Steve started to fiddle with his fingers, not trusting himself to look up at Toni. He didn’t know what look would be on her face but he was sure he wasn’t ready to find out. “I just kept hoping somebody would take pity on me and send me over.” He shook his head, “I knew I wouldn’t make it long but at least I would get a chance to do some good before I was taken out.” 

“Steve,” Toni said softly, taking a few steps toward him.

He didn’t stop though. “Then this happened,” he gestured to himself. “But I still didn’t think about life after, you know? It was just stopping Hydra then. When I lost Bucky…” Steve made himself pause for a moment because it suddenly became a little bit harder to speak. “I’ve never told anybody this, but I was kind of relieved when I had no other option but to put that bomber in the ice.”

He could sense more than see Toni continue to approach him. 

“There was a possible future with Peggy, but to what end? I had went from one extreme of freak to the other. A tiny wimp with nothing to offer to a science experiment,” he swallowed hard. “There wasn’t a future for us.”

“When I came back, I thought a lot about the past, about what I didn’t have. The Commandos were gone, your father was gone, Peggy has Alzheimer's and barely remembers me most days,” he sighed. “I didn’t have a purpose again and it was killing me. I didn’t know what to do.” 

“With S.H.I.E.L.D. and then the Avengers, I was fighting again.” This time Steve shrugged during his pause. “Gave me something to be worthy of. But it wasn’t enough. I kept thinking on the past. On Bucky, on Peggy… that simple life that I wanted but really have never been in a place to have suddenly didn’t sound so appealing anymore. For almost all of my adult life, all there has been is fighting. Fighting is all I know. I can’t figure out how to be anything else but Captain America.” 

He took a deep breath, “In the vision that the girl showed me, I was at a Victory party, right after the war. It was incredibly noisy. People laughing and some even fighting. The band was … almost ear-piercing. There were flashes from cameras that were like gun and cannon fire.” 

Steve scrubbed a hand down his face as the scenes from the vision went through his mind. “Suddenly Peggy was there, asking me for a dance and … I was frozen. It was hard to comprehend. Then it was all gone, and yet I could see it. Peggy and I dancing, the chance to have a normal life finally within reach. But … I didn’t want it. I didn’t feel a loss at not having it.” 

He swallowed hard and finally looked up at Toni, his heart in his throat, “Then you were there. Just you and me, standin’ in that big, empty, silent hall. And all you wanted to do was go home. I suddenly realized there was nothing more I wanted in the world, Toni. Just forget it all and leave. With you.” 

Her face was completely blank and Steve hung his head, “But I couldn’t … I couldn’t get to you, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t leave.” His deep breath was shuddery. “What am I if I’m not Captain America? What good am I, what worth do I have? Who will need me if there isn’t anything to fight?”

Toni had closed what space was between them in a hurry and something in Steve almost broke when he felt her hand on his shoulder, then the back of his neck, “Hey, I need you. Okay?” she said with conviction.

He looked up at her shocked and a thrill shot right through him. She swallowed hard, obviously now shy about her declaration, and shrugged, “I do. I’m not too proud to deny it,” she said softly. “I need you, Steve. I don’t care what anybody else thinks or says about it or me or you.” 

The breath left him in a whoosh and he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her closer to him. Steve buried his face into her stomach, inhaling deeply as she drew her arms around his shoulder, holding him just as tightly. 

“I’m so sorry, Steve,” Toni whispered and he heard the tears again. It tore at him so much, he pulled back and looked up at her sincerely.

“No, Toni. No more.” He looked away and shook his head, feeling so stupid, so angry at himself, so hurt at what she had done, and lost as to everything happening around them. “You’re right about listening to you. I wanted you to tell me things, but never confided in you in return,” he mumbled. 

She pursed her lips, “Is that the reason for the speech?” Her voice was soft and held no malice. 

He laughed ruefully, “I guess it is. But it was needed.” He bowed his head again and Toni stepped toward him, allowing him to rest his forehead on her once more. “To get trust, you need to give it. And I needed to do it for me as much as you probably needed to hear it. I’m not perfect, Toni. I have fears and doubts and …” 

Toni ran her fingers through his hair and if he could have melted on the spot, he sure as hell felt like doing it. “Hey, I don’t want you to be perfect, okay? I mean, I’m the last fucking person to be something even close to perfect. So it would sort of be hypocritical of me to expect someone else to be.” 

Steve pulled her closer and squeezed his eyes shut, “I don’t know how to be anything else than this…” he started again. 

“I don’t  _ want  _ anything else, Steve,” she gave a rueful chuckle of her own. “Fuck, I thought I had been so obvious, which is somewhat of a relief now.” 

He raised his head again, brow scrunched in confusion. “Obvious? About what?” 

Toni swallowed hard and seemed to concentrate on a spot just above his eyeline, “That I was crushing pretty hard on you, Rogers. As is. No star-spangled outfit required.” She paused and pursed her lips, “But you know, the outfit doesn’t hurt.” 

He choked out a laugh and leaned into her for a third time, hugging her tighter because hell, it felt good to just  _ talk  _ with her again, to confide those things in her. The need to fight was gone and he didn’t miss it. He had missed her though. A lot.

“I don’t want to lose you like I lost Peggy,” he murmured into the towel, not sure if Toni even heard him. 

Her body stiffened for a split second before she squeezed her arm around his shoulders, “You won’t,” she breathed.

Neither one of them said anything after that. Steve just held her close to him, not thinking if she wanted to put space between them or not. He had a very safe feeling she didn’t. Toni had accepted him without a hesitation. Sure, it hadn’t always been that way, but tonight it was. And tonight it mattered the most. 

He looked up at her suddenly, his arms still about her waist and her hand combing through his now tousled hair. She looked at him blankly, but in her eyes he could see the thoughts tumbling about. He knew she was wondering what he was thinking. 

Steve stood slowly, keeping his eyes on hers as he rose to his full height, towering over her. Toni swallowed hard, her head tipped back to look up at him, but she didn’t away. His fingers twitched on her sides before he moved his hands up, over her arms, and framed her face. Her breathing had picked up and, as he took note, his had as well. 

Her eyes were searching his, clearly wondering where they went from there. She was letting him lead, which was good. Because Steve knew exactly what he wanted.

He leaned in, gently brushing his lips against hers, and Steve felt his tension release. Her hands went to his waist and she pressed into him more, giving him affirmation of her want to continue. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from pulling back just briefly to look in her eyes. Toni slowly reached up, encircling his wrists with her hands as his thumbs softly caressed her cheeks. 

They just held each other’s gaze for what felt like minutes before she pressed into him again, wanting. Steve’s fingers dove into her damp hair at that and Toni tilted her head back enough for their lips to meet again, this time more heatedly. 

Her towel fell away and Steve felt something hot burn in him at the awareness of it. Their kiss didn’t break as he pulled his hands from her face and wrapped them around her waist, pulling her up from her feet. She gasped against his mouth as her arms went about his neck and her legs wound around his waist. Everything in him felt like a live wire. 

One hand slipped down the soft curve of her back and then her ass, grabbing and holding her against him as he turned. Steve broke their kiss to gently lay her back on the bed, his heart ramming against his chest and things south getting rather uncomfortable in his jeans. Toni looked serene, lying on the bed naked as the day she was born. He licked his lips unconsciously as he moved to crawl over her, not being able to stop from openly staring at her body. 

Her olive skin was gorgeously smooth, yet he easily caught sight of the scars dotting here and there. Still, they made her more beautiful, he thought. He hated she had to suffer, but they did not disgust him. They told her story, proved how brilliantly strong she was. Toni Stark was a survivor. Just another thing he loved about her. 

“Pensive look,” Toni said quietly. 

“Just appreciating the view,” he murmured, eyes flickering up to hers as he dipped his head down and kissing just above her belly button. 

He got quite a bit of satisfaction from her shiver and the way one hand flew to the back of his head and the other to her chest. “Oh, well then…” she breathed, almost as if she was completely surprised by the admission but trying to be nonchalant. 

Steve smiled softly, looking up at her again. He shifted the knee he had between her thighs up just a hint and crawled up her body more, hovering over her. He held her gaze again for just a moment before he dipped his head down, ghosting his lips over her collarbone. “Never took you for being a bit shy,” he reflected quietly, loving how her head tipped back again. 

Toni bared her neck to him and he took the opportunity to trace up the line of her throat with his nose, breathing in the smell of soap and the faint hint of the perfume she used. His lips followed, barely ghosting her skin, and her hand in his hair curled and tightened. “I’m far from shy,” she replied faintly. “Just out of practice.” 

He hummed against her jaw line, one hand skimming down over her ribs, her hips, his fingers curling under her thigh and tugging her leg up over his hip. “Ditto,” he whispered roughly into her ear before he grazed his teeth over her earlobe and his hips ground into her. “I’m up for changing that. You?” 

Toni nodded vigorously, rising up to met his movements. “Fuck yes,” she panted.

Steve had to kiss her then because though he called her out on her language quite frequently, he secretly loved it. Especially now as the words left her sweet mouth in breathy whispers, almost as if she were begging him. That thought set deep in his mind and he liked it. She moaned into him, rocking her body up against his and what little control he thought he had left slipped away just a bit more. 

Toni’s small hands began to claw at his shirt, pulling it up his body and he allowed her to pull it over his head after he broke their kiss. Things felt frenzied after that; part of Steve wanted to take his time, wanted to draw this out as long as he could because God only knew when the chance would come again. And … who knew if they would both make it out of this one. 

While his brain threatened to go to dark places, Toni was on one track. She tossed his shirt aside and let out a long, deep breath as her eyes followed her hands down his torso to the top of his jeans. The look on her face had all the bad, negative thoughts disappear. Steve kissed her again, desperately as her fingers made quick work of the button and zipper of his jeans.

He rolled his hips into her again because now he needed the contact as her hands pushed at his pants and boxers. He wasn’t too proud to admit the moment her hands contacted his skin, he shivered against her touch. She liked that, gauging by the smile her lips curled into as she kissed him back eagerly.

Steve had thought about this before; having Toni beneath him, kissing him, her hands on him and his on her. But even those daydreams could not compare to the real thing. She was so soft, he felt himself enamoured by it. He watched his pale hand skim up along her skin and something in him moved again. Her small hands framed his face and turned his gaze to her eyes. They kissed again and from there, they moved together in no rush at all. 

Every sigh and gasp from Toni, every move of her body against his, every kiss, every touch of her hands Steve stored away in his mind. She was perfect, though he knew she would never believe that. But he knew it deep down in his heart as her eyes locked on his, her hand curling around his neck and her forehead pressing against his, and she shuddered against him. 

He clutched her close for a few moments, both of them breathing hard and staring at one another. It felt like a great amount of time later -- Toni tucked up against his side, her slender legs tangled in his, and her eyes closed as she took deep, relaxing breaths while his fingers drew figures on the plane of her back -- that Steve felt a question come to his lips. 

“Are you alright, Toni?”

She snorted a bit, but the corner of her lips curved in a smile. “Really? After what you just pulled off, Captain, and you are asking me if I’m okay?”

He gave a soft laugh too and then reached up and brushed his fingers through her drying hair. “I mean, about what has happened. I know that Maximoff girl showed you something at Strucker’s.” 

Steve honestly didn’t want her to say anything other than assure him that she was okay. After talking with Fury and realizing how traumatic the encounter must have been for her, he wanted nothing more than to make sure she was safe. 

Toni drew in a deep breath and opened her eyes, but her brown gaze never went past his chest. “I’m getting there,” she whispered, no joke or malice in her tone.

He slipped his arm around her and pulled her closer. “You don’t have to say more than that. That’s all I need to know. And to tell you that I’ll do whatever I can to help you get there,” he whispered before kissing the top of her head. 

She said nothing at first, but after a few moments, he felt her wrap an arm around his waist as well. “There was … one of those flying monsters in Strucker’s lab. The ones from New York,” she whispered against his skin. 

“Toni…”

“No,” she interrupted him. “I’m ready.”

Steve pulled back a bit and gently tilted her head back to look in her eyes. He met her gaze head on, looking for any hint of a lie. But there was none; Toni looked a bit nervous, but that steely resolve of hers he loved was dominate over everything else. So he leaned down and kissed her, just to give her one more reassurance that he was with her, 100 percent, no matter what. 

After the kiss ended, Toni took a few seconds to not look him in the eye, her hand moving up and down his chest as if she were gathering her thoughts in the movement. Then, after a few silent minutes, she spoke. 

“It came to life; that huge, alien, fucking freaky piece of shit. Flew right over my head, I was so  _ sure _ of it. And as I turned and watch it …” She stopped suddenly, her voice choked, and Steve’s hold on her tightened. 

“There you all were, laying on some, some jagged rock in some Godforsaken piece of space. Motionless. Nat was looking right at me,” Toni’s voice tapered off. 

“It was just an illusion, Toni,” he whispered against her hair reassuringly. “Nothing more.” 

He could feel her tears, the hiccup in her breath, more than see her emotion. “I ran over to you, tried to wake you up, tried to see if you were still alive… and you grabbed me and asked me why I didn’t save you, why I didn’t save the team. That I could have done it … and it was true.”

Steve pulled back and cupped her face with his hands, “No, Toni. Look, whatever happened, it was all a trick. That girl was trying to get a reaction out of you …”

“Yeah, well she got it,” she interrupted with with a resigned tone.

“Maybe. But it doesn’t mean she gets to win. We will stop Ultron together, I promise you that,” he whispered. 

For the first time since he had met her, Toni gazed up at him with something that he could only describe as child-like hope. It hit him so hard that she honestly thought they wouldn’t have her back, that he leaned down and kissed her. Whatever strength he had, he hoped she would at least take some from him. Because no matter what Toni believed, Steve knew they would need her to stop Ultron. 

After a bit, they pulled back on their clothes and Steve felt a bit of relief as Toni grabbed his hand and tip-toed up to kiss him briefly again before they headed back down to what she begrudgingly called “the real world.” 

Nat was sitting at the dining room table, and Steve felt a bit of relief at the fact that she seemed to be herself again. Out of all of them, save Bruce of course, Natasha seemed to be hit the hardest by the Maximoff girl. She nodded at Steve and then watched as Toni made her way into the room, asking for food, in a way that Steve could only describe as full of knowledge about what just happened between Captain America and Iron Woman. When Nat turned her gaze back to him, Steve nodded to his partner and leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms as he looked around. Good thing about Natasha was she played her hand when it best suited her and the rest of the time, her lips were shut tight. 

Clint and his brother Barney were throwing darts and now it seemed Toni was budging her way into the fray, forgetting about her earlier declaration for food. Steve found it a bit intriguing that Fury, who had taken it upon himself to make a sandwich to drop in front of Natasha, turned back to the kitchen and began to make another. 

“Come to join the topic of discussion, Cap?” Fury asked looking at him with a smirk that said he too knew exactly what Steve and Toni had been up to. 

Steve swallowed hard and locked his jaw, attempting to keep a straight face. He was pretty sure he had learned over the last year or so how to accomplish that. “I assume your appearance means you have some information for us. We’ve been silent on comms since South Africa, for good reason,” he answered. 

Fury nodded, agreeing with him, luckily. “Ultron took you folks out of play to buy himself some time obviously. My contacts all say he’s building something. But with the amount of vibranium he made off with, I’m thinking it’s not just one thing.”

Steve pursed his lips and nodded in agreement; that made sense. Steve really had no clue what the damn robot could be making with the vibranium expect yet another robot, this time probably more powerful than they had dealt with thus far. But he would be the first to admit, researching the properties of vibranium was the last thing he had done since waking up in New York. 

“So what about Ultron himself?” Steve asked, deciding Toni and Banner could worry about the science part. 

Fury scoffed as he continued to move about in the kitchen, “Oh, he’s easy to track. He’s everywhere. The guy’s multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit.” He paused and pointed at Toni as she snorted. She promptly bit back her laughter. 

“It still doesn't help us get any idea of what the hell he’s planning, though,” Fury finished. 

Toni twirled a dart in her hand, “Is he still going after launch codes?” she asked a bit wearily.

“Yes, he is,” Fury answered matter-of-factly. “But he’s not making any headway.”

Toni scoffed again, taking the remaining darts from Barney, “I cracked the Pentagon’s firewall when I was in high school on a dare. I was practically asleep when I did it. Ultron should have slammed through any protections by now.” 

Fury nodded his apparent agreement, “That’s why I contacted our friends at the Nexus about it.”

Steve shifted a bit on his feet, looking between the former director and Toni. “Nexus?” 

“The world hub for the Internet, located in Oslo,” Banner said, shifting in the corner where Steve had noticed him silently lurking in before. He noticed how pale the doctor still looked after the battle in South Africa. “Every byte of data flows through there. Fastest access on Earth.”

“So what'd they say?” Clint chimed in, picking at a dart he snatched from Toni. 

Fury scoffed, “He’s fixated on the missiles. However the codes are being constantly changed on him.”

Toni walked up to the dartboard and tugged the darts she had thrown out of the board, “By whom?” 

As soon as the question left her mouth, three darts appeared in the board center next to her face, causing her to jump back. Steve bit back a small grin as she turned and glared at Clint who had thrown the darts. The archer shrugged with a smile as Toni rolled her eyes. 

“Parties unknown,” Fury answered the previous question, ignoring Clint and Toni. 

“Then do we have an ally?” Nat asked curiously.

Fury shook his head, “Ultron’s got an enemy. That's not necessarily the same thing. Still, I'd pay folding money to know who's doing it.”

“Hmm,” Toni mused out loud. “I might need to visit Oslo. Find our ‘unknown.’”

Nat sighed in clear frustration, “Well this is good times, boss, but I was kind of hoping when I saw you walk through that door you’d have a bit more than that.” 

Fury paused in his work and looked at Natasha as if she had said something ridiculous, “I do. I have you.” 

Steve couldn’t ignore the awkward tension that came into the room as he and his teammates looked around at each other. He knew they were all thinking the same thing; some team they were if two kids with a few special powers could pull them apart as they had. After he stared at his shoes for 30 seconds, telling himself they weren’t all pointless, that  _ he  _ wasn’t pointless, he looked up to see Toni walking away from the dartboard to lean against the countertop. Her eyes glanced up and locked on his. 

“Back in the day, I had eyes everywhere. Ears everywhere else. And you kids, well you had all the tech you could dream up.” He paused and walked toward Toni, a plate with a sandwich in his hand. When he reached her, he dropped the sandwich next to her on the countertop. Toni looked at the plate then slowly up to the former director. Fury glared right back at her before pointing to the sandwich then back to her. She rolled her eyes, which was a standard response from her. Fury simply took one half of the sandwich for himself and then moved toward the empty chair at the end of the table. He kicked it away from the table but did not sit. Instead, he stood straight with his normal commanding air, looking around at all of them. 

“Here we all are, back on Earth with nothing but our wit and our will to save the planet. Ultron says the Avengers are the only thing between him and his mission. And whether or not he admits it, his mission is global destruction. All this,” Fury’s hand swept out in front of him, “laid in a grave.” 

There was another pause as the reality of his words sank into Steve’s mind. He glance around the room again to notice his companions look just as weighted down with the truth of what Fury was saying. 

“Time to take a stand. Outwit the platinum bastard,” Fury ended with a heavy tone, finally taking a seat in the chair. 

“Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk,” Natasha said in her demure tone, looking over at Steve with a playful smirk. 

He rolled his eyes as Toni attempted to hide the slight chuckle she had. “You know what, Romanoff,” he started in his most annoyed tone.

“So what does Ultron want?” Fury interrupted, clearly hell bent on bringing the discussion back around. 

Steve took in a deep breath, pursing his lips as he thought that over. The answer to him was fairly clear. “To become better. Better than us, obviously.” His eyes then turned to Toni for confirmation on his next thought, “He keeps building bodies. Person bodies.” 

His statement had Toni bit her lower lip as she picked up the plate and moved around Fury toward Steve. He could see they were on the same thought train by the look in her eye. “Yes, he does. However, he continues to break down how the human form is inefficient. I mean, biologically speaking, we’re outmoded. But for some reason it’s what he keeps coming back to.”

Natasha scoffed and shifted in her seat as she looked over at Toni first and then back at Bruce, “When you two programmed him to protect the human race, you amazingly failed.” 

Toni rolled her eyes and opened her mouth for what was sure to be a smartass or snarky remark, but Bruce cut her off. 

“They don’t need to be protected,” the doctor said softly, but just loud enough to have everyone in the room turn toward him.

Bruce shifted on his feet and walked back to the table, “They need to evolve. Ultron’s going to evolve.”

“How?” Fury cut in, sounding intrigued by this line of thought. 

Bruce took a moment, gazing out in front of him at nothing really. Just before Steve started to think someone needed to gently prod the doctor, he turned to look at Toni, “Has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?” 

“Of course,” Toni breathed softly, not answering the question for anyone but clearly knowing the answer. She did, however, turn to Steve with her brown eyes wide. “That’s where he would head. To her, for the cradle.” 

It was then that it seemed to hit everyone else. If Cho was right and the cradle could work to regenerate cells, perhaps there was a way Ultron had figured out to use the cradle to build himself an actual human body … 

“He’s going to use the Vibranium to incorporate it with human-like cells,” Toni said, her voice holding a tone of unbelievably. “Son of a bitch.” 

“We never even thought of that,” Bruce added. 

Toni shook her head, “Too human like. Artificial intelligence was clearly pushing it too far already.” 

“We could sit and science this out, but I think it’s time to gather up and move out,” Fury interrupted gently, finishing his half of the sandwich in two bites.

“Fury’s right,” Steve chimed in. “We need a game plan and we need to head out. At dawn.”

Everything erupted in what could be explained as organized chaos after that. Nat and Clint were up and out of the kitchen, obviously to gather their gear. Bruce, after thanking Barney for his hospitality, quietly exited for what Steve could only think would be the solitude of the Quinjet. He saw how Toni looked after the good doctor with concern. He knew the two of them were close and if he was worried about Bruce, he couldn’t imagine how worried Toni was about him. 

Steve had changed back into his suit, helmet in hand as he descended the stairs and went into the Barton’s living room for his shield. He thoughts were in a thousand places, which normally wasn’t exhausting for him -- most things weren’t exhausting for him of course -- but for some reason, at that moment as he looked up and watched Toni race down the stairs in her armor flight suit, he felt spent. 

The fact must have been written all over his face as Toni, her hair down and her eyes bright, came straight over to him, her concern clear. Steve decided he was going to cut her off at the pass. 

“I’ll take Natasha and Clint,” he said, slipping his shield onto his back.

Toni pursed her lips, “All right.” She narrowed her eyes a bit at him. “This is strictly recon, okay? We’re not exactly sure what he’s doing and if you tip him off…”

Steve nodded, getting her point. “You hit the Nexus?” 

She drew in a deep breath, putting her hands on her hips as the two of them turned and quietly headed toward the front door. “Yeah. I think if I can figure out who’s stopping him, it might fill in some holes of this puzzle of what Ultron’s big picture is with all that vibranium. I’ll join you guys after as soon as I can.” 

He took in a breath of his own, thinking over his next words carefully. He didn’t want her to think he was still blaming her over what happened, but he couldn’t help but feel a deep fear start to bubble up over what Ultron’s ultimate plan could be. 

They had only traveled a few steps before Steve stopped and turned back to her, his voice low. “If Ultron’s really building a body, Toni…”

Toni bit her lower lip, the same worry he was feeling showing itself in her eyes as he trailed off. “He’ll be more powerful than any of us. Maybe all of us,” she replied, just as quietly. “An android designed by a robot…” She stopped and shook her head, dropping her gaze from his.

He watched her for a moment, the unique way her worries and guilt washed over her and changed her physically. Steve took in a deep breath, reaching out and touching her waist above where her hand sit. When she looked up at him, he cracked a wry smile. 

“I was just thinking I really miss the days when the weirdest thing science ever created was me,” he said softly. 

Toni snorted, but he was happy to note she smiled as well.

Heavy footsteps interrupted the moment and Steve and Toni both turned to see Fury walk up to the pair, pulling on his coat. “I’ll drop Banner off at the tower,” he said matter-of-factly before he turned his attention directly to Toni. “You mind if I borrow Ms. Hill?”

Toni shrugged, “She’s all yours. Apparently.” 

At her quip, Fury halted in his attempt to turn from them and glared at her. Steve could see she was getting a bit back to herself because she smirked back at the former commander brightly. It hit Steve then how much the relationship between the two of them was like a father-daughter situation. Knowing Fury, Steve could imagine after Howard’s death he made sure Toni wasn’t without the figures she needed in her life. 

Before the death stares could get out of hand, Steve looked to Fury. “What are you gonna do?” he asked, truly curious. 

“Oh I don’t know,” Fury drew out. “Something dramatic I hope.” He then looked between both Steve and Toni, smirking like he knew something he didn’t, and headed toward the door, throwing back, “Make it quick, Stark,” before he disappeared. 

Toni drew in a deep breath, “Okay then. I guess that means team break.” 

Steve looked at her, suddenly unsure of what to say. Things were different between them now, but that wasn’t a bad thing. He knew how he felt about her and how he wasn’t afraid to make that known. He wasn’t quite sure what ground Toni was on yet…

She was staring back at him though. She was thinking about something; he would bet anything it was about him. Just as she seemed resolute in what she was going to say, her lips parting to speak, Natasha walked passed the two of them, looking between Steve and Toni with her blank, assessing gaze. 

“If you could get the make out session over with, we do have some work to do,” she said softly, but pointedly. 

Toni rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide the tint of a blush that started to cover her cheeks. Natasha smirked at the response and then continued on her way. Once she was gone, Steve took a step closer to Toni. He tried not to think about how this could excursion could turn into more than just information gathering. 

She drew in a deep breath and he took her hand, causing her gaze to move up and catch his. “Be careful, okay?” he said sincerely. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” 

Toni swallowed hard, “Back at ya, Cap.” 

Steve found himself waiting again, staring at her. Would she say more? Would she get mad if he kissed her? He couldn’t believe with what was ahead that he was standing there debating on whether Toni Stark was the type of dame that wanted to be kissed before they parted or not. Part of him thought she would sock him pretty good for it. Not that it would hurt; she’d have to be in her armor for it to even register. But knowing her, she’d give it her best go. 

The thought made him laugh a bit to himself as he squeezed her hand. Toni pursed her lips into a thin line, but still didn’t speak. So Steve gave her one small nod, hoping she knew enough of him to realized how he felt now, and then turned to head out of the house. 

He made it three steps before he heard Toni call his name behind him. As Steve turned, she had caught up to him, her hand slipping into his as she went on top toes and pressed her body against his. 

She had her lips on his and for a split second as his arm went around her and pulled her closer, Steve could think only on how warm she felt, how good it felt to have her up against him, and how he prayed like hell that they would get through this mess unscathed and be free to find out where this relationship could go. 

And just as quickly as the kiss started, it was over and Toni was pulling away. As she came back on her feet, she looked into his eyes and what he saw made something in him flare hot. 

“You be careful too, solider,” she whispered, her dark eyes wide. 

Steve nodded slowly, “Yes ma’am.”

She nodded as well and stepped back. Everything in Steve wanted to grab her and kiss her again but he knew time was against them. So with a deep breath , he turned and headed out to the Quinjet, stepping on board as Barton fired up the engines.

As they lifted off, the jet turned so Steve could see the farmhouse one last time through the windshield. Toni had jogged down the steps and was stepping into her suit. As it folded around her, her head turned toward the jet. He didn't know if she could see him. If she did, she made no gesture.

She simply turned her head back skyward, pointed her palms down, and shot off into the sky. 


End file.
